Tattling usually happens among siblings who tattle for various reasons. It is often caused by feelings of rivalry. Toddlers do it to take revenge, to get the better of the other, to manipulate or simply to attract attention. Tattling is common among older toddlers, but younger toddlers may do it among themselves, but they do it mainly when they are with older toddlers. A study in England made by Susanne Denham, of the George Mason University, reveals that toddlers as young as 1 ½ years tattle with their older siblings with great skill.
According to Denham, the younger toddlers do it to threaten and get the better of their older siblings. It may be also related to their developing moral sense. Tattling is a way for them to reestablish a rule that they consider others have violated. What ever may be the reasons, almost all the parents rightly disapprove tattling and look for ways to tackle and stop the kids when they engage in tattling.
First of all, find out if the kids are tattling because they are feeling un-secure and unsure of your help when they need it. Let the kids know that you are always ready to help them and hence it is unnecessary for them to draw your attention by tattling. Such a confidence building measure will gradually stop them from tattling. Also, give them enough time to develop their power of judgment to distinguish between correct and incorrect behavior. However, they need your immediate intervention and help if they are genuinely being harassed by an older or stronger kid.
Even if the situation at which two kids are tattling is safe, parents need to teach the kids to express themselves in an alternative way other than tattling. Make them understand that tattling is improper behavior and they should tell the persons concerned their reasons for being angry or displeased with someone. Promise them that you will help them if they tell you the reasons instead of whining. This will make them understand the reasons for your objections and eventually they will stop tattling and find better ways to negotiate an unpleasant situation by communication.
Also, by encouraging the kids to sort out their problems by themselves instead of coming to you always is another tactic that will enable them to develop their own problem solving abilities. Give them opportunity and time to negotiate and settle their problems among themselves, and intervene only when the situation gets out of hand. Then you can assist them to find a potential solution. While settling the matter, make sure that the tattler does not mislead you to punish an innocent kid.
Posted on May 29th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Baby, Behavior, Toddler
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