Toddlers between age one and four are unable to differentiate truth from falsehood. Hence, the concept of lying and telling the truth is beyond their understanding. Lying, therefore, cannot be considered as intentional from their part and they cannot be held guilty of it. They are over imaginative, and forgetful. It is easy for them to imagine that there is a spider under their bed, and quick to forget where they put their favorite toy.
They also suffer from what is called the angel syndrome. Influenced by their parents’ expectation to be good, they might start believing themselves that they always do the right thing. They think of something wrong they can do and feel happy when they don’t do such an act.
One or a combination of the above reasons makes a toddler speak things that seem to be a lie to the adults. Parents need to understand this character trait of their toddlers and tolerate their harmless lies to a certain extent. They believe in the fairy tales their parents tell them, and parents should sit back and enjoy some of the tales their toddlers tell. It is part of their normal development.
Toddlers also develop imaginary friends, which is also a normal process of their well developed imagination. Pretended pals also serve the important purpose of making a safe way to find out the type of personality they want to develop. Hence, they try to put the blame of some of their misdeeds on their imaginary friends.
Hence, punishing the toddlers for telling a lie is worthless. However, parents can nurture in them the importance of telling the truth by constantly encouraging them to tell the truth. If they tell a truth, acknowledge and appreciate their honesty. If they are punished after telling the truth, then they might think that they are punished for being honest. Instead, thank them for their honesty.
Also, parents can inspire them to tell the truth by couching the words of their questioning in such a manner that the answer will be in the form of a confession. If they are questioned in a direct manner, they might feel afraid to tell the truth and come out with a denial.
Toddlers are unable to understand and practice all the rules and expectations their parents impose on them. The kids might feel afraid to disappoint the parents and tell lies if they are overburdened with too much expectations and rules. Building mutual trust is another way of encouraging the toddlers to tell the truth. This can be done by keeping a promise and apologizing promptly if it cannot be kept. Also, be a role model to your child by always telling him/her the truth.
Posted on May 28th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Behavior, Toddler
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