Sibling rivalry among children is a common occurrence at every home and it is quite a natural thing. Through the rivalry, kids learn important life skills such as problem resolution, empathy and sharing. However, it should be within a limit, free from violence and exasperation. Although parents are unlikely to eliminate rivalry among their kids, they can make use of certain strategies to control it. The following three pronged approach will help parents to tackle bickering and fight among kids to a certain extent.
1. Prevention
2. Intervention
3. Resolution
The best way to avoid frequent occurrence of rivalry is to prevent reasons that cause rivalry. Making any type of comparison, both favorable and unfavorable, causes rivalry among kids. Avoid comparing one kid’s quality against the other kid’s minus points. Such type of comparisons will only result in increased competition and resentment among the kids.
Also, treat each kid according to his/her needs, without favoring or paying special attention to any one of the kids. This means that you have to give them attention according to each one’s need. Give each one of them enough attention and care, or spend some time with each kid every day. This will satisfy their individual need for attention.
Instill in the kids the value of respecting each other’s personal space and belongings. They should know that each one has certain personal things that are for their use only, not for others to take or use.
Be careful when you intervene in a quarrel among children. Unless it is violent, the best method is not to intervene at all. Ignoring some of the common and nonviolent bickering will enable the kids to learn about how to resolve some issues respectfully by themselves. However, if it turns into extreme behavior such as hitting, screaming or too much name calling, then you have to intervene and calm every one down. Avoid taking any one’s side or try to find out who caused the fight because usually the children can only say their side of the story. Hence, it is better to listen to their story and set rules against name calling, yelling, blaming or physical violence.
If the kids fight habitually over the same reason, then it is time to call a family meeting to discuss the problem when every one is in a relaxed mood. Let each one talk freely their problem and note it down. When they have finished, read to them what you have recorded for their approval. Then find a solution with their help.
Posted on May 18th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Baby, Behavior, Child Care, Tips, Toddler
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