Real experiences by a Mom

Make the “No!” Toddlers Say “Yes!”

At a certain period of their toddler-hood, kids develop a special love for saying a big “No!” to whatever their parents want them to do. This often puts parents in a quandary. Here are some ways to get past the “No!” and make the kids say “Yes!”

1. Give them some choices to do within boundaries. If they want a snack, suggest a fruit snack – and ask them whether they want apple or orange. Kids love the independence to make choices, and they will be happy to select one. Too many choices will make them confused and unable to decide.

2. Kids love everything if it is fun and humorous. For example, if they refuse to sit down to eat but laugh and jump around, then try to laugh back and invite them with a funny dialogue such as suggesting them to tell their funny legs to flop their bottoms on the chair. The kids are likely to laugh back and bring their bottoms to sit on the chair. Or, sing a funny song and laugh with the kids till they agree to sit down or what ever you want them to do.

Another amusing way is to ask them a number of questions that they are bound to say “No!” For example, ask them if they want peanut butter with pickles, or a cup of tea with salt. A string of such questions will make them laugh and they will ultimately agree to your proposal.

4. Kids like to do tasks if these are made to look like games. For example, try taking your kids to the bath room as if in an airplane or a car. Kids are likely to accept this game and eventually end up in the bathroom ready for a bath or a potty. If the kids refuse to do brushing sing them a song such as ‘Brush, brush, brush your teeth” and make them see how the adults brush. Or ask them to do something funny such as roaring like a lion while you brush their teeth.

5. If the kids refuse something then tell them that you will do it yourself. This might prick their pride of independence and make them say “No!” Now, they may want to do it themselves. Prohibiting them to do something is also likely to produce the desired result. For example, if you want them to eat apple, tell them “Don’t eat apples.” These techniques are known as reverse psychology.

Posted on May 27th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Behavior, Diet | No Comments »

Toddlers and Whining

Toddlers are pragmatic enough to understand that whining is a method by which they can get what they want from their parents. Instead of being annoying, their aim is just simply to produce the desired results. It is also another way of substituting for their lack of verbal skill to make a request. According to Dr. Tina Gabby of the University of California, lack of verbal skills makes them frustrated, resulting in whining. Hence, parents need to teach their kids more verbal skills to express themselves so that they will stop using whining as an alternative to have their way.

Firstly, explain to the kids that whining sounds harsh and awful. Tell them the difference between their normal sound and whining. Let them understand that people dislike the unpleasant sound of their whining and therefore will not listen to them. The difference can be demonstrated to them by imitating their whining noise in a serious manner or recording their normal and whining noises for them to hear. The playback of the recording or demonstration of the whining could be done when all are in a good mood.

Children also whine to satisfy their need for attention. They need parental attention when they are tired, hungry or want to express something. Tell the kids to express what they want in words without whining. When they try to use words encourage them and respond to their demand immediately, or tell them that you will do it as early as possible, and then follow it through. Kids cannot wait for long. A two year or a three year old kid could probably have the patient to wait two and three minutes respectively. Praise them if they wait without whining. When their request is made, the kids will realize that there are better ways to voice their request and then they will gradually stop whining.

Engaging the kids in conversation is another way to stop whining. Ask them the reasons for whining and promise them that you will satisfy all their reasonable demands. And also, tell them firmly that they are not going to get what they want if they go on whining. However, it will be like adding oil to fire if you get angry with them. Also, use visual expressions such as closing your ears and wincing when they whine, and showing a happy expression when they stop.

Many reasons can cause kids to whine. Taking your kid for an outing without feeding them can cause them hungry when outside. Taking away kids during their usual naptime also can cause whining. Avoid such circumstances. In such cases feed them before you leave or take along some healthy snacks to feed them when they are hungry. Also, ensure that they have their proper nap.

Being consistent with your rules at all times, giving proper care and attention to the kids, and trying to divert their attention, and so on are other ways to stop the kids from whining.

Posted on May 27th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Baby, Behavior, Child Care, Language Development, Toddler | No Comments »

Throwing During Mealtime

Some toddlers are notorious for throwing food or snacks while eating. It makes a messy situation on the floor and on the table. The only way to prevent the kids from such a practice is for one of the parents or an adult to sit with them. Stop them the moment they are about to throw by firm words of disapproval or by holding their hand if necessary.

Talk to them gently and divert their attention. Also, encourage them to talk and in this way parents can use the mealtime to develop the kids’ language skills. Parents also can make sure that the kids chew their food well before swallowing to prevent any incident of choking.

Using unbreakable plates, glasses and cups to serve the food for toddlers is another way of preventing loss by breaking in case these are thrown down. There are special unbreakable toddler dishes that could be stuck firmly on the table or any flat surface. It is difficult for the toddlers to pry them off and throw down. However, if these are easy to pry off then the toddlers will have extra fun removing and throwing them down on the floor.

Serving them less food at a time is also helpful. In this way, they will have less food or nothing left to throw down after eating. More could be put on the plate once the first serving has been finished. Kids usually throw unwanted food or the leftovers when they had their fill. Unless recommended by the doctor, give only that much food the kids want to eat.

Forcing the kids to eat may result in giving the kids more opportunity to throw food. When food throwing commence, parents can take it as a sign that the kids have finished with their meal and are getting bored. However, food can fall from the hand by accident or by purpose, which should be considered differently.

Some hints for stopping other types of throwing:

Some kids throw things at others with an intention of hurting. However, most of them stop this practice when parents firmly and consistently try to deter them. But some may persists with the behavior and then parents have very little option but to monitor their movement always. If they throw their play things such as toys, then fasten these to their seats with short pieces of strings after trimming both ends in a manner that these cannot wrap around their necks.

When things lie scattered around, try to involve the kids in the cleaning. Use gentle words to persuade them instead of forcing them. Also, make them understand that tossing some items such as a pillow on the bed or a packet of tissue paper is alright. This can be done by taking them around the house and showing them how you toss such items harmlessly.

Posted on May 26th, 2008 by admin
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Toddlers and Throwing

It is quite natural for toddlers between 1 ½ and 3 years to throw things. It is their way of practicing and enjoying their newly developed fine-motor skills. The skills involve holding a thing and then sending it to a distance by a combination of hand action and opening their fingers simultaneously. At the same time, it also involves hand-eye coordination. It is an educational experience also. The kids discover that when a thing goes up it falls down and it can also make noise and break too. Throwing thus becomes an experience of great fun for the kids, although it is harassing for the parents. Hence, they wonder how to stop the kids from throwing.

Psychologists such as Roni Leiderman of the family center at Nova Southeastern University are of the opinion that parents should ignore the throwing unless it is dangerous. At this age, children will continue to throw things even if the parents try to stop them. The only way is to reduce the number of objects and control the direction at which they throw these things.

First of all, teach the kids the type of objects they can throw and encourage them to throw only those things that are allowed. They should be made to understand that throwing is fine as long as it is done harmlessly. Restrain them from throwing things such as a book, and give them a ball instead. Give them plenty of choices, such as soft balls and rings, and in this way they will soon distinguish between things that can be thrown and cannot be thrown. Also, train them to throw a ball into a basket, or at a particular target. Such activities are great fun for kids between age two and three.

Kids often throw things to attract attention. This could be in the form of throwing a shoe on the floor or a puppet at another kid. Parents should ignore these actions at the first two or three instances to let the kids know that they can’t draw attention by throwing. They will make it a habit if they realize that attention can be drawn by such actions.

However, if the kids repeatedly resort to throwing with an intention of hurting then parents need to interfere immediately and consistently. Express your disapproval or unhappiness firmly at every time they do such a thing, and give them a short timeout if necessary. In this way they will learn by repetition.

Small kids have short memories and so make sure that the timeout punishment is limited to 30 or 40 seconds, lest they forget the reason for their punishment. Also, teach them to express their angry feeling in words. Physical punishment such as beating or hitting is undesirable because it may not produce the desired result.

Posted on May 26th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Baby, Behavior, Play, Toddler | No Comments »

Toddler Hair Pulling

Some toddlers engage in behaviors that cause physical pain or harm to others to get things done in their way. Such behaviors include hair pulling, biting or hitting and so forth. According to Mark W. Roberts, profession of clinical psychologist at Idaho State University, children engage in such misguided activities mainly for three reasons. Toddlers between age one and one-and-a-half year do this to get a reaction from the victim. Another reason is to remove an unpleasant thing such as someone sitting on their leg.

Toddlers between age 2 and 3 years do it to control the direction of a situation. They want to stop someone from doing something they dislike and to have things happen according to their desire. Whatever may be the reasons, hair pulling is not a healthy practice and toddlers should be stopped from forming such habits. One way is to let them know that hair pulling does not produce the desired results. Don’t show sympathy or try to find meaning to their behavior, but just tell them hair pulling is futile. Let them realize that they won’t get any benefit from violent behavior and often the opposite of what they desire may happen.

Also, discourage or suppress the hair pulling tendency by taking strong stand against it. Interfere and stop them gently from pulling someone’s hair and instruct them firmly that hurting others is not a good practice. Minor punishment such as timeout could be given but the important thing is to be consistent with your stand against violent behavior.

Talk to the children about the wrongness of causing pain to others. Even small children can understand what you say from your tenure and voice even if they don’t have enough language skills. However, toddlers forget things too soon and they learn by doing things over and over again. Hence, parents need to be patient and repeatedly correct the kids when they make mistake. They will soon learn to avoid bad behavior.

Additionally, teach them to express their feelings through non-violent behavior. This could be done by developing their verbal and speaking skills so that they can express their feeling in words. Tit for tat is a bad correcting method. Pulling the hair of the kid as a punishment will only help to make a wrong impression in the kid’s mind. S/he might think that pulling hair is probably a good thing to stop others from doing something. Trying to stop the kid by causing pain is also futile because small children lack the empathetic skills to make out such a relation.

Posted on May 25th, 2008 by admin
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Caring for Permanent Teeth

Permanent teeth start appearing at age six or some time after that in place of the primary teeth, which start falling one by one. These may appear early or later in some children as dictated by each one’s bodily timetable determined by hereditary traits. The teeth’s order of appearance is more important than the time of appearance. Usually, the lower central incisors are the first permanent teeth to appear, but in some kids it could be the first permanent molars.

While the primary teeth are 20 in number, there are 32 permanent teeth. Since the number of permanent teeth is much more than the primary teeth, the permanent molars in the farthest back emerge at the backside of the primary molar. The primary tooth stays there to be replaced by permanent premolars or bicuspids later on. All the other teeth including incisors ad canines are replaced permanent teeth.

Most often, all the 32 permanent teeth appear when the kids are about age 13. However, the wisdom teeth, also called third molars, appear from ages 17 to 21. Every one cannot expect to have these teeth because of improper position or inadequate space.

The teeth need to brushed and flossed properly to protect them. Kids up to age six and above need to be supervised by an adult to ensure the brushing is done properly. Brushing in the morning, after meals and before bed needs to be encouraged to remove all food particles from the mouth and crevices between the teeth.

Teeth of small kids should be brushed by an adult directly by cradling their head in one arm. Kids develop motor coordination after age six or seven, after which they can brush on their own, but under supervision. Soft nylon brushes are better for kids. Use a pea-sized paste with sufficient fluoride, the content which can be determined by a dentist.

Flossing should start around age two when teeth start appearing side by side near to each other. Flossing is necessary to remove food particles from between the teeth. Brushing alone can’t remove these cavity causing particles. Usually, children will have enough dexterity to do flossing by them-selves after age nine or ten.

Posted on May 25th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Child Care, Dental care, Toddler | No Comments »

Baby Bottle Tooth Decay

Baby-bottle tooth decay is caused by bacterial infection. Bacteria multiply in the mouth if exposed longer time to sugars resulting from breaking down of carbohydrates in liquids, such as milk and fruit juice. The bacteria, while feeding on the sugar, produce an acid that de-mineralizes and causes tooth decay. If not prevented, the problem could become serious.

Putting kids to bed with liquid filled bottles can cause tooth decay. Use only plain water if you intent to keep the bottle in the kid’s mouth for longer time. Dipping the pacifier in sugar or sugary liquids, and adding sugar to food is also harmful. Teach the kids to drink from a cup after age one and clean the teeth gums after each feeding. Regular visits to the dentist after the first tooth are also helpful.

Right amount of fluoride in the body is also necessary to prevent tooth decay. If the fluoride content in the drinking water is insufficient, consult your doctor for a supplement. Give plenty of healthy snack foods such as fresh fruits, vegetables, sugar free items and cheeses which are good for teeth. Sugary and starchy foods are better eaten as part of a meal instead as snacks. These will be washed away when the kids drink water or other fluids during mealtime which saliva alone cannot do.

Sticky food particles remain longer in the mouth and groves and are difficult to remove by water alone. These food particles are likely to cause cavities. Avoid sticky foods, such as creamy sandwich cookies, jelly beans and so on. Rinse the mouth with water several times or brush the teeth immediately after eating. Also, reduce the frequency of snacks to decrease the level of acidity in the mouth. If your child is fond of gums, make sure these are sugar free.

Posted on May 24th, 2008 by admin
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Taking Care of Toddler Teeth

Taking proper care of toddler teeth and training them to form a sense of good oral habits are important health issues for parents. They should form a habit brushing twice a day, flossing at least once a day, and regular visits to the dentist. Regular visit to the dentist is important from age two because the doctor can make sure proper development of teeth and instruct the parents about proper dental care and hygiene.

The kids should be made to understand that dentists are there to help them maintain good oral health and regular visits to them is a good habit. Such positive attitude will prompt them to consult dentists as long as they live.

The first baby teeth begin to appear when the kids are about 6 months and by age three the process stops. During this period most kids face teething irritation or pain. Home remedies such as frozen teething rings are helpful to relieve the pain. Consulting a dentist is also helpful for expert advice and medication.

Children up to age six need parental supervision while brushing. The paste should have enough fluoride as approved by the ADA. Only a pie sized paste is enough in the beginning and make sure that the kids spit out all the foam after brushing without swallowing any. Soft bristled brushes are good for kids. Start with gently brushing the surface and then the chewing surface of each tooth back and forth by angling the bristles to the gum-line.

Although sucking reflex is normal, it is unhealthy if it is continued during and after eruption of the permanent teeth between age 4 and 7. It will affect the teeth positioning and deformities, such as buck teeth, and hamper the proper development of the mouth and jaw. Other problems such as biting discomfort, early wear and decay of teeth, and so on can occur in adulthood.

The habit of finger sucking could be discouraged by positive methods such as praising the kid when s/he is not sucking or gently correcting any anxiety that prompt some kids to suck. Other methods are bandaging the finger or consulting your doctor for a bitter tasting ointment that can be applied on the finger. Putting on a sock over the hand at night also helps.

Posted on May 24th, 2008 by admin
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Taking Care of Primary Teeth

Babies are born with primary teeth hidden inside their gums. These teeth begin to erupt about six months after birth. The teething time and number of teeth depends on their physical construction, and varies from kids to kids. Two bottom front teeth commonly appear first followed by four front teeth on the top. Normally by age three all their 20 primary teeth will have appeared.

The primary teeth have spaces between each other to facilitate place for permanent teeth. It also makes brushing easier. Apart from biting and chewing food, the teeth help the kids to speak properly, look attractive and to guide the permanent teeth into place. Therefore, they need the same proper care as permanent teeth.

Brushing should start twice a day when the kid has four teeth in a row on the top or bottom. A brush with soft nylon bristles is good. Soaking the brush in warm for one or two minutes will make it softer. Not more than a pie sized paste with enough fluoride and a cup of water is all that needed for the cleaning.

Make sure that the kid does not swallow the foam or paste because the fluoride could harm the permanent teeth. The spaces in between could be wiped with a wet washcloth or gauze. Consult your doctor for the right fluoride content. Start flossing when two teeth erupt side by side touching each other.

The brushing should be done by an adult or under adult supervision if the child wants to try brushing once in a while. This should be the norm until they are age six year or more. Even at this age they need some kind of supervision for proper brushing.

Posted on May 23rd, 2008 by admin
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Devices to Hear Baby in the Womb

Parents love to hear the sounds of their baby in the mother’s womb. Listening devices enable parents to spend fond moments with the baby at close quarters, thereby helping them to develop a lasting bond.

Websites such as Ebaymaternity.co.uk provide a variety of such devices, such as heart monitors, that help parents to listen to the heart beat and other noises the baby makes in the womb. These are light weight and very convenient to be taken anywhere.

Parents can spend some close and exciting time together with their baby, trying to know her/him better in advance. The website also provides instruments to monitor the baby’s heartbeat to understand if the baby is happy or distressed. There are digital display screens and transmission gels for babies to hear, tested by scientists and doctors.

It has been scientifically proved that babies can hear inside the womb. Hence, when the parents are listening and talking, the babies too can hear the sounds that the parents make. Scientists have also confirmed that music such as Mozart’s with its rhythm and tempo makes positive reaction in baby’s brain. It helps to make smarter babies. Hence, play some music for your baby for a change while you are listening.

The listening devices come with a guide that contains instructions for parents regarding how to operate them and what to expect. Parents need to understand some facts such as baby’s heartbeat is much faster than an adult’s. Definitely, Ebaymaternity.co.uk is one of the best places to look for such products.

Posted on May 23rd, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Baby, Behavior, Child Care, Toddler | No Comments »

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